I grew up in small industrial town of Sillamäe in Soviet Estonia. I have
very few pictures of my childhood, mostly staged, taken during the
moments I don't remember nor care about.
So I created my own very personal version of childhood pictures with
my kids, from bits and pieces I remember and find important. These
are the moments that brought butterflies to my stomach or shivers on
my back. All the struggles, urges, dreams and desires. Moments that
have defined much of my later life and who I am now.
It's strange to look back now and see how the dots connect, almost
like there was some kind of grand narrative, a fate, if you will. But you
can only understand it when looking back, never forward. It's
impossible to project the connections into the future.
I also realize that memories are not absolute, they're being influenced
by the experiences, they are changing with us whether we want it or
not. This series does not pretend to be truthful in all aspects, but
rather my best understanding and interpretation of what I remember.
In some awkward way making these photos might have influenced my
memories they're supposed to save. I'm OK with that, the circle is
never round.
