Honorable Mention / 2020 / Portraiture / Self-Portrait

Blooming and falling, every day and every time

In a confusion of overwhelming sensations and mental issues, I am haunted by questions what is the presence. Taking pictures with 4x5-inch film sheets, and my film developing process with mediation in my darkroom, give me a hint of my existence. My process destroys my images in the film. However, the 4x5-inch sheets of film are always uniform almost without deviation. No matter what the images appear on my films are now or were in the past, the actual materiality of the 4x5-inch sheets of the film gives a sense of security, even when I question, What is real?